


Always Yours

by LilyInTheSnow



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Actor Bucky Barnes, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Artist Steve Rogers, Beefy Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Lingerie, M/M, Makeup, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Omega Steve Rogers, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Post Mpreg, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Lubrication, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Steve is fuckin' thirsty, Top Bucky Barnes, idiots to lovers, it's a thing, they get together fast but they're still pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyInTheSnow/pseuds/LilyInTheSnow
Summary: Steve is in love with his best friend, and the only Alpha he trusts, Bucky. And maybe Steve is an oblivious dumbass that doesn't realize Bucky's in love with him too. Though maybe he should've figured it out when he asked Bucky to donate sperm so he could have a baby and Bucky suggested they date for six months first.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 27
Kudos: 175





	Always Yours

**Author's Note:**

> The pining in this is/will be epic. For now I'm estimating this to be three chapters long, I'm working on chapter two now, but I know how I get it and it could be longer.

Steve turned the corner with a heavy sigh and hitched his bag back onto his shoulder. The strap kept slipping and driving him crazy, but he didn’t have another way to carry his supplies - or the two bottles of wine. He hoped Bucky would be willing to help him. He knew it was a lot to ask, but he didn’t trust anyone else. Not that he even wanted to ask anyone else for help. He’d known Bucky practically his whole life, the Alpha had been his best friend since the day they’d met on the playground in first grade when Steve had been getting his ass kicked by a third grader for standing up to them when they’d been picking on another first grader. And maybe Steve had been in love with Bucky since before he was old enough to know what the word meant, but he’d never told him for fear of losing that friendship. He’d rather pine over Bucky for the rest of his life than lose him. Even if it killed him. Even if they had the occasional one night stand when they were lonely and drank too much. Somehow, Bucky had never realized just how much Steve loved him and Steve intended to keep it that way. It was the one and only secret he kept from Bucky, and he guarded it closely. 

More than once Bucky had commented on Steve’s lack of relationships. Steve had laughed nervously and wondered if he’d been too transparent. Or maybe it was simply the fact that he’d never brought a partner with him when they went to dinner together even though Bucky had taken his own dates. Usually lithe blonde Omegas that Steve was immensely jealous of because they looked vaguely like himself and made him realize he would just never have a chance with the Alpha. That Bucky would never see him as more than a friend and sometimes lover when lonely or desperate. Steve had eventually told Bucky, one of the times he’d asked about Steve’s love life, that the reason he never dated was because none of the Alpha’s that asked him out where Bucky. It was the truth after all. 

Bucky had laughed, hooked his arm around Steve’s neck, and drawn him close with a shake that made him feel like a bobble head. Steve had laughed with him, all the while his heart was breaking. Well, not breaking exactly, because he got to be included in his life and and Bucky was in his. Even if it was just as friends. He’d rather be friends with Bucky than nothing at all. It still hurt like hell. La douleur exquise. Exquisite pain. He rubbed his chest over his heart and hiked his bag back onto his shoulder, the wine bottles inside clinking together.

He heard a catcalling whistle and looked up toward where it had come from to see Bucky leaning out of his apartment window with a cigarette dangling between two fingers. He grinned at the man he’d loved his entire life, then spun in a circle when Bucky twirled his hand with a flirty smile. The short circle skirt Steve was wearing flared around his thighs, above the band of the stockings he wore, and he grinned at the low whistle Bucky let out.

“Get in here, Stevie! Haven’t seen you in months.”

“Not my fault you’re always off working somewhere.” Steve stuck his tongue out at the Alpha, then used his key to let himself into Bucky’s building. The chunky heels of his Mary Janes clacked on the tiled floor as he walked through the lobby and he smiled nervously at his reflection in the elevator doors when he stepped inside and hit the button for Bucky’s floor. The sequins on his corset top caught the light and sparkled with every breath he took, the ultrafine glitter he’d dusted along his collarbones sparkling too. He’d done his makeup as well, heavy kohl around his eyes to bring out the blue in them, vintage raisin lipstick that he knew Bucky loved, and a light blush.

The doors opened and he stepped into the hall to find Bucky’s apartment door hanging open. One day someone was going to go into the Alpha’s apartment and steal shit just because his door was open. He walked inside and closed and locked the door. The first thing he noticed when looking around the apartment was a stack of new books on the coffee table. Space nerd stuff. Bucky was obsessed with space and science fiction and always had been. He smiled at the nerdy pile of books, then headed into the kitchen to unload the bottles of wine. Bucky’s black leather jacket was hanging over the back of one of the chairs at the small table and Steve grinned. If he and Bucky left his apartment later, he planned on stealing the jacket. He didn’t care if it was too big for him. He loved the way Bucky’s scent enveloped him when he wore it. Other Alphas stayed away from him when he wore it and he secretly enjoyed the idea of Bucky having a claim on him. Of Bucky scenting him. Making it clear that no other Alpha could touch him. Would be welcome to touch him. If only it were true.

Steve took out the bottle of wine that was already chilled in the bucket and replaced it with one he’d brought, then grabbed the wine bottle opener and twisted it into the cork. He pushed the handles down and absolutely did not jump when strong arms wrapped around him and squeezed him tightly as the scent of cigarette smoke, cinnamon, burned sugar, and whiskey filled his nose. Bucky rested his chin on his shoulder for a moment, then nuzzled his neck with a sigh and a kiss to his jawline.

“I missed you,” Bucky murmured, nuzzling Steve’s neck again and breathing him in. Steve nodded, hugging Bucky’s arms to him and leaning back against him.

“I missed you too, Buck. Every time you leave it feels like you’re gone longer and longer.” Bucky had been gone eight months this time. They’d texted when they could. Called whenever Bucky had more than a few minutes to spare, but it wasn’t the same as being able to see each other whenever they wanted.

“Are you alright?” Bucky spun Steve around to face him, searching his face for something Steve was afraid he’d find.

“Yeah, Buck. Just missed you is all.” He gave Bucky a weak smile then a quick kiss and tight hug, reached up to play with his longer hair. It was nearly shoulder length now. “I like your hair long.”

“Me too. I’m keeping it this way for as long as I can. Until I get a new job.”

“And have to cut it or dye it or shave it off.”

“I’m never shaving my head. No matter what the role calls for.” Bucky kissed the top of his head, then turned him loose and finished uncorking the wine and pouring their glasses. Steve knew Bucky would shave his head if a roll he loved called for it but didn't say anything. He sat at the table and picked up Bucky’s phone to scroll through one of the many restaurants Bucky kept in his contacts. He saw a new number on it. Someone named Kelly and he wondered for a moment if they were an Omega or not. Didn't matter what their gender was. Bucky didn't follow social constructs when it came to gender.

“Who is Kelly?” He tried not to sound jealous, but knew he didn’t quite keep it out of his voice when Bucky shook his head and slid a wine glass closer to him.

“A new friend.”

“Friend friend or someone to stick your knot in friend?”

“Friend friend. He was my makeup artist. You’re the only Omega in my life right now and you know it. Drink your wine.” Bucky kissed his cheek and Steve sighed, picked up his wine and took a long pull of it while deciding on a restaurant. “Kelly is a Beta and mated with two kids, Steve.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.” Steve picked a place where they'd gotten really good salads from before and ordered Bucky a grilled chicken salad with balsamic vinaigrette and one with mustard vinaigrette for himself. Bucky nodded with an approving smile and Steve pointed to the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the ice bucket. It would balance out the acidity of the vinaigrette.

“Good choice. Now that you’re done being jealous for no reason, tell me what you’ve been doing while I was gone.”

“I texted you.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I finished the new paintings for the gallery. All of them sold opening night. Tony bought another one. Well, Pepper I suppose, but Tony was there. Natasha and Clint came. I think for the free booze, but they left with a drawing. That one of the dancer.” The one Bucky had modeled for the last time he’d been home. He’d been shirtless and wearing a low slung pair of jeans that were so baggy they barely clung to his hips. Threadbare and soft from wear. Bucky had owned those particular pair of jeans for at least ten years. Steve had a scanned copy of it on his laptop, and if he'd set it as his screen saver no one could blame him. “I started a new series.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm. Of bonded couples. Showing their mating bites.”

Bucky nearly choked on his wine. “That’s really personal, Steve.”

“That’s the point, Buck. It’s...personal. Sensual. It brings it out of the shadows. It’s love. It’s possessive. Obsessive. What’s more exciting than being claimed like that? When an Alpha claims their Omega.” Steve skimmed his fingers over the scent glands on his neck. “It’s a claim, but it’s a promise too. You’re a part of each other forever. There’s so many mated couples that never complete the bond. I want to celebrate the ones that do. That love each other, that want each other enough to finish it. That are promising that forever. That take the chance and say ‘we’re it for each other. This is it for us’. It’s soul deep and it should be celebrated.”

Bucky cleared his throat, blinked a couple times. “Yeah. Yeah, of course, Stevie. Are you okay?” He reached over and carressed Steve’s face and it was only then that the Omega realized he was crying.

“I’m fine.” He gave Bucky a shaky smile, then stood and fled to the bathroom. It didn’t occur to him to use the guest bathroom, it never did, and he raced into Bucky’s ensuite. He closed and locked the door behind him because he knew Bucky would follow him if he didn’t. “Fucking moron. Just tell him you want his bite, why don’t you?” He walked to the sink to wash his face and frowned down at his toothbrush in the holder next to Bucky’s.

His toothpaste was laid out next to Bucky’s. His soaps and face creams and makeup remover were laid out too. He had his own shampoo and conditioner on the shelf over the bathtub. His bath gels and oils sat next to Bucky’s body wash. His loofa hung with Bucky’s on a hook and if Steve opened the medicine cabinet, some of his pills, a pack of emergency suppressants, and an extra inhaler for his asthma would be in there too. Christ, they were practically living together.

Steve had extra clothes in Bucky’s closet in the bedroom and Bucky had bought him a vanity for his makeup for when he stayed over. Steve had an extra comb lying on it next to his makeup. He even had a small jewelry box on the vanity that held earrings, bracelets, and chokers that Bucky had gotten him for birthdays, Christmases, and gallery showings.

He sniffled, grabbed a couple cotton balls and his make up remover. He had ruined his makeup he noticed when he looked in the mirror. Fucking tears. He took off his makeup then washed his face and grabbed his towel from the hook by the sink. Yet another thing he had in Bucky’s bathroom. It was no wonder Bucky’s relationships didn’t work out. His Omegas had to be furious at another Omega’s things in their boyfriend’s bedroom and bathroom. He patted his face dry and jumped at the quiet knock on the door and jiggle of the handle.

“Stevie?” He sighed, then took a steadying breath and turned to open the door. Bucky was standing there looking worried. “You’ve been crying.”

“Just washing my eyes,” Steve told him with a weak smile. “Do you realize that we practically live together?” Bucky crossed his arms over his muscled chest and Steve bit back a whimper at the way his pecs bunched up. Jesus. He was still beefy coming off of his movie where he’d played a brainwashed enhanced soldier and Steve had never wanted him more. Instead of doing something about it he pointed to his things in the bathroom. “And in the bedroom. I might as well just move in, Buck.”

“Why don’t you,” Bucky asked as Steve went to step around him; he needed his wine before he did something stupid. He stopped mid-step and blinked up at the Alpha.

“Do what?”

“Move in with me.”

“Don’t be a jerk.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re trying to make me feel better because I’m moody.”

“No, I’m not. You’re right, Stevie. We do practically live together. I could move in with you, if you wanted.”

Steve wanted. He wanted it all. He wanted Bucky’s bite on his neck. He wanted Bucky’s knot during his next heat. He wanted Bucky’s pups growing in his belly. He wanted his bite on Bucky’s neck. He was saved from saying any of that - and ruining their friendship, potentially losing Bucky forever - by the door buzzer.

“It’s dinner. I’ll let them up.” He gave Bucky another weak smile, then slipped past him to buzz them in. Hopefully Bucky would give up on his misguided offer to let Steve move in. He knew better though. Bucky would bring it up after the delivery person left, after dinner, or before Steve went home. Either way Bucky would ask him again and he would have to come up with some way to politely turn him down. Steve opened the door with a smile he didn’t feel and took the bag from the delivery girl as Bucky came up beside him.

“You pay,” he told Bucky with a grin as the delivery girl stared at Bucky in shock. Yeah, Steve knew. Bucky was fucking sin incarnate with how hot he was. It wasn’t fair. “Say something to the girl before she faints, Buck.” He tried not to feel jealous at the flirty smile that made its way onto Bucky’s face but couldn’t help the irrational anger and turned to take their food into the kitchen before it was noticed. As soon as he managed to ask Bucky for his favor he’d have him all to himself anyway. Provided the Alpha said yes.

***

“Hey Buck, I wanna talk to you about something.” Steve refilled their wine glasses, pouted at their now empty third bottle of wine, then dropped it to the floor.

“What is it, Stevie?”

“I’ve been thinking lately.”

“Mmm.”

“I want...I want a pup. I’m gonna...I want to have pups.”

“Wow.” Bucky looked surprised, as if expecting anything other than what Steve had just said. “When did you decide this?”

“While you were gone.” Steve took a sip of his wine. “I just...I don’t have an Alpha. I haven’t had and I want one, but I won’t have one.” He didn’t even know if he was making any sense at all, but Bucky seemed to be following along. “I spend too much time painting and drawing to have a relationship. No one’ll put up with me. I thought I wanted to get mated and bonded and have pups but I been thinkin’ and I’ll never have that.”

“You don’t know that, Steve.”

“I do! I do and I realized, when I was thinkin’ about it I just want a pup. I went to the doctor already.” Bucky looked...Steve didn’t know what Bucky looked like, but his drunken mind made him think that Bucky looked kind of heart broken. Steve wished it was because Bucky wanted him. Wanted to mate and bond and have their own pups and not be Uncle Bucky to Steve’s fatherless pups.

“You’re going to get a donor and do IVF?” Steve nodded quickly.

“If I can find one I like. There’s these little catalogs of pictures and information about the donors. You pick a number and it’s just...I don’t want my pups’ daddy to be a picture in a catalog.”

“What are you saying, Steve?”

He downed what was left of his wine then sat his glass on the coffee table, almost falling off of the couch in the process. “We've known each other for a long time, Buck.”

“We have.”

“And we love each other.”

“We do. We’re best friends, Steve.’

“And we’ve slept together before. A few times.”

“We have.”

“When we’re lonely and drunk and...I don’t think it makes it weird. I think we actually got closer as friends after.”

Bucky nodded and sat his wine aside then pulled Steve close, tucking his head under his chin. Steve pressed his nose to Bucky’s scent glands and breathed him in.

“Will you be my sperm donor, Buck?”

“Stevie.”

“You know I wouldn’t ask if I hadn’t thought about it seriously for a long time. It’s okay if you don’t wanna, but I’d rather it be someone I know, trust, and care about than some anonymous Alpha out of a book. I’d want my pups to know where they come from.” Steve sniffled, hated his tendency to cry when he was nervous, and squirmed closer to Bucky until he could rest his head on the Alpha’s shoulder. He tried to fight back his tears and failed. Bucky had no idea how hard it was to ask him. How hard his rejection would be if he said no. Steve didn’t want just any Alpha’s pups. He wanted Bucky’s, and Bucky didn’t even realize he existed. Oh, Bucky knew he was alive, cared for him as his best friend, but romantically he didn’t know Steve existed. Physically, intimately, he knew. They’d slept together six times over the course of their life long friendship. When they both got so lonely they couldn’t stand it anymore. They turned to each other for comfort. For affection. To feel something. Anything. And now here Bucky was, holding him and rocking him when he’d just asked him to donate sperm, to knock him up.

“I’m sorry Buck,” he murmured as he clung to him. “I just...I didn’t think about what your Omega would say if they knew you’d had a pup with someone else.”

“Thankfully I haven’t got an Omega.” Bucky kissed his temple with a murmur and leaned back into the corner of the couch, pulling Steve with him. Steve settled between Bucky’s spread legs, sprawled across his chest. They’d taken baths together in similar positions. “Don’t cry, sugar.” Plush lips skimmed over his hair and he whimpered, feeling like an idiot.

“I’m not.” He rested one hand on Bucky’s chest, sliding his fingers between the buttons of his shirt and playing with the sparse hair on his chest, just now growing back from having been waxed for the movie. He couldn't wait for it to grow back in. He sighed, hating the way his breath hitched.

“You are,” Bucky whispered as he rested his chin on top of Steve’s head. “You were scared to ask me. Scared of what I’d do or say.” Steve nodded and closed his eyes. “You shouldn’t have been.”

Steve lifted his head, staring at Bucky in confusion while tears blurred his vision. “What?”

“I’ll do anything for you, Steve. Always have. Always will.”

“What?”

“I’ll do this for you, Stevie. On one condition.”

“What is it? Are you sure?”

Bucky cupped his cheek in one hand and dropped a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’m sure, but I want you to give us six months.”

“Why? My heat’s in two. We can do it then.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head, then tucked Steve under his chin again. Digging it into the top of Steve’s head and mussing his hair. “I want to make sure it’s not just because you’re turning thirty-three next week. I want to make sure it’s because you honestly want a pup.”

Steve groaned. “Am I that transparent?” He had to have been. But he still wanted Bucky’s pups, damn it.

“Only because we’ve known each other so long.”

“What’s the rest of it?”

“You’ve never had a real relationship, Stevie. Not ever.”

“You’ve had a few.

“They never worked out.”

“No.” None of Bucky’s relationships had ever worked out. Steve had always been torn between wanting them to work out so Bucky would be happy and wanting them to fail because if they worked out it would mean Bucky would be happy without him. “They didn’t know you. They didn’t want Bucky. They wanted James Barnes. Sexy actor guy from Brooklyn. They didn’t realize how much of a nerd you really are.” Bucky laughed and Steve smiled to himself, glad that he hadn’t upset Bucky.

“If we do this, if I father your pups, I want us to have a relationship first.”

“We have a relationship, Buck. We’ve known each other our whole lives.”

“I want us to date, Steve. Real dates. I’ve had relationships with Omegas who didn’t know me half as well as you do. Those didn’t work out. I want to see if we’ll work, Stevie. We know everything about each other. We were our firsts. We were there for each other when we presented. You helped me through my first rut. I helped you through your first heat.”

Steve whined, high in his throat. What the hell was happening? Did he fall and hit his head and wind up in some kind of coma where he was living out his dreams? Had Bucky hit his head while filming? He rubbed his chest over his heart. Was he having a heart attack? 

“Will you go out with me, Steve?”

“Um...are you sure? I mean, all you gotta do is jerk off in a cup, we don’t need to do this.”

“Do you want me to write you a note so you can check yes or no?”

“Buck!” Steve slapped at him gently. “This is serious!”

“I’m being serious, Steve.”

“I just...we were talking about pups and now you’re asking me out. I don’t...ugh!”

“Either way things go, if we work out or even if we don’t, I’ll be your baby daddy.” Steve pushed himself up with his hands on Bucky’s chest and stared down at him. Bucky giggled like the nerd he truly was. “I want us to date first. If, in six months, we’re still together then we’ll try for a baby when your next heat rolls around if we’re sure we’re ready. If not, then we’ll wait until we are. And if we’re not together then I’ll donate my spunk, okay?”

"You’re an idiot. Are you sure?” He wasn’t sure what he saw in Bucky’s eyes, aside from determination, but he wasn’t entirely sure it was a good thing. He just wanted a pup. Bucky’s pup. And now? He wasn’t sure he knew how to be in a romantic relationship with Bucky. It was what he’d always wanted. Of course it was. But he didn’t know what to do now. How the hell was this going to work? Was he supposed to immediately start showing Bucky how much he really loved him or was he supposed to go into it a little bit at a time so it was like they were learning each other all over again?

“I’m sure, Stevie. Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Okay.” Steve gave him a wobbly smile and Bucky caught his face in his hands and pulled him in for a soft kiss. Bucky’s lips brushed over his delicately, strong calloused hands slid down his neck, his thumbs tracing the lines of Steve’s jaw.

“What if this is a horrible mistake," Steve whispered. What if they did this and fucked everything up?

“What if it’s not?” Bucky shifted them so Steve straddled his lap, his short skirt riding up between them and he sighed.

“I don’t want us to get hurt, Buck.”

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, sugar. Not purposely.”

“You can’t promise that, Buck. I can’t promise it either.”

Bucky nodded with a sigh then kissed him again. “Whatever happens is what’s meant to happen, Stevie. We’ll be alright.” Steve nodded with a sigh of his own then snuggled against Bucky, tucking his head under his chin once again.

“Read to me about space.”

“How about I tell you about the Rosetta probe?”

“Okay.”

***

Steve woke to the sound of clinking in the kitchen and sat up, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. He groaned, stretching his arms over his head until his back popped, then stood and tossed the throw that had been covering him over the back of the couch with a slight frown. He’d fallen asleep on Bucky again. He combed his fingers through his messy hair and looked down to see that he was wearing one of Bucky’s pajama shirts, his black cotton panties, and nothing more. How the hell Bucky managed to change him into pajamas while he slept he’d never know. Probably it was some hormone thing. Steve’s lizard brain knew he was perfectly safe with Bucky so it didn’t care what was done to him in his sleep or something. Steve shrugged and smoothed down the blue silk shirt that matched Bucky’s eyes and walked into the kitchen, the sleeves of the shirt dangling past his hands. Steve thought he looked like a child playing dress up.

He saw Bucky making breakfast and leaned against the doorjamb to watch as he scooped food onto plates set on the table. Bucky wore the bottoms to Steve’s top and his long hair was in tangled, slightly frizzy curls. Steve though it only made Bucky look even more adorable than he usually did. His eyes were still sleepy, but bright enough that Steve knew he’d been awake for a little while. He grinned when Bucky spun toward the stove, hips swaying as he danced to a tune that only he could hear. Steve still, even after all these years, didn’t know how Bucky woke up without a hangover no matter how much they’d drank the night before.

Steve jumped with a yelp when the toast popped up, startling him from his thoughts, and Bucky turned to him with a blinding smile.

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d woken up.”

“Just now.”

“Did I wake you?”

“No. I do wake up early sometimes, Buck.”

“Not nearly enough.” Bucky poured a cup of coffee, adding just the right amount of cream and sugar to it, then walked over and handed it to him with a kiss on the cheek.

“My hero.”

“I know how much you need your caffeine in the morning.”

Steve smiled up at him as he clutched his mug of coffee tightly with pajama sleeve covered hands and Bucky grinned then gave him another kiss. “I made breakfast.”

“Thank you.” Steve’s inner Omega was preening because his Alpha, his  _ potential  _ Alpha, was providing for him.

“Come eat.”

Steve followed along as Bucky led him to the table and sat him down at a plate that he knew was for him even though he wouldn’t be able to eat it all. An omelet with cheese, ham, mushrooms, onion, bell peppers, and chunks of tomato covered half the plate. The other half was covered with a massive pile of hash browns and two slices of toast. Bucky wanted him fat and happy already. Steve smiled down at the plate then looked up at the Alpha. “Thank you, Buck. It looks great.”

“You’re welcome, Stevie. Eat up. We have a busy day.”

“We do?” That was not what was supposed to happen. Usually when Bucky got home from filming he and Steve would stay in for a couple days and catch up. Then they’d go and do their own things. They didn’t have plans to go out and do shit. They rarely ever did. Steve still hadn’t given Bucky the sketch book he’d filled up while Bucky had been gone. Steve always made him one. Silly moments and things that happened day to day while Bucky was gone. Bucky always made up stories to go with the pictures and told them to Steve while they snuggled on the couch.

“We’re going to go to your apartment and start packing up your things. You’re moving in.”

Oh no. “What?” He couldn’t move in. He couldn’t be surrounded by Bucky twenty-four hours a day. He’d die. There’d be no way in hell he’d ever be able to keep his feelings for Bucky hidden if they were together every moment. How the fuck could he tell Bucky no without hurting his feelings?

“You’re moving in.”

“I can’t move in Buck.”

“Why not?”

“Because. I just can’t right now.”

“Give me one good reason.

“I’ll give you three,” he muttered, cutting into his omelet with his fork so he didn’t have to see the look in Bucky’s eyes. “Firstly, we just decided last night to take our relationship in a new direction. There’s going to be changes between us enough as it is. Secondly, I’m going to be too busy with the new series to pack and organize and everything. Thirdly, I’m going to be too busy painting the new series to deal with a move.”

Bucky laughed and Steve shot him a glare. “Okay. Fine. Not moving in together right now. Even though I think it’s more to do with you being scared than too busy, but we can move you in later.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m not scared.” He was totally scared. “I was planning on being pregnant in two months. Not in the middle of starting a new relationship. Now I gotta do other stuff.”

“Other stuff.”

“Yeah. We gotta go on dates and stuff. You said so. I still have to work on my paintings too.” Steve jabbed his fork at Bucky then took a drink of his coffee.

“And it makes you nervous because now it’s something that you’re not in complete control of.”

“Eh.”

“Sugar? Has anyone ever told you that you’re anal-retentive?”

“You. Constantly. ‘Cause you’re a big fat jerk.” He stuck his tongue out at Bucky then shoved a bite of his omelet in his mouth so Bucky wouldn’t retaliate by tickling him. Steve had learned his lesson about that a long time ago.

Bucky leaned over and pressed a hard smacking kiss to his temple. “Punk. Anyway, no working just yet. I just got back. You still haven’t given me my sketchbook.”

“After breakfast. If you don’t eat now you’ll get distracted by the book and forget to eat and you get grumpy when you don’t eat right.” And Steve’s lizard brain went haywire when the Alpha it thought was his didn’t eat right. He started being all domestic. Cooking and cleaning and taking care of Bucky even though he was a grown ass man who could take care of himself.

Steve was lucky he and his lizard brain had come to a compromise a long time ago. Otherwise he'd drop down and present every time Bucky smelled even the tiniest bit aggravated. His Omega side loved the way Bucky smelled anyway and then when he was aggravated or grumpy it made Steve want to present so Bucky could work his frustrations out on his ass. His Omega side was a horny bitch for Bucky when he was being a grumpy Alpha. Not that he wasn't horny for Bucky all the time anyways. More than half of Steve’s spank bank was Bucky. Okay, like ninety-nine percent of his spank bank was Bucky. The one percent that wasn’t, was just some nameless, faceless Alpha built like a brick shithouse. Beefy and strong enough to appease Steve’s lizard brain, but gentle enough to appease the rest of him. So...basically Bucky. Steve had spent a lot of time with his knotting vibrator, that was absolutely not named after Bucky because that would be weird, (it was totally named after Bucky) and dreaming of the Alpha. Probably more than what was healthy, but masturbation was good for the soul. Or some shit like that. Besides it was his own business who he cried for while in heat. Or when not in heat. Whatever.

He heard a low growl and looked to Bucky with a raised brow. The Alpha’s pupils were dilated and his nostrils were flaring and he was gripping his fork so tightly his knuckles were white. He scented the air to figure out what was wrong with Bucky and smelled his own arousal and realized he was slicking up his panties. Oops.

“Stevie. You said your heat’s not for two months.”

“I’m not in heat!” Shit. Now he’d just confessed to being fucking horny instead. Great. So awesome. “I’m going to um...go take a shower. Thanks for breakfast!” He jumped up from his chair, abandoning his half eaten omelet, kissed Bucky’s cheek, and then ran out of the kitchen. “You are a complete disaster, Rogers. Jeez. Might as well have climbed all over him,” he grumbled to himself as he closed himself in Bucky’s bedroom and headed for the closet to grab clothes. “A complete and utter disaster. Now you have to dye your hair or get a tattoo or something. Buy new shoes.” He eyeballed his clothes hanging in the closet for a long moment then grabbed the baggiest shirt and jeans then went to the dresser and grabbed a pair of the baggy boxer shorts he always wore after his heat when he had his period. He was not going to flash anymore skin around Bucky today. Or ever. From now on it was Nun Steve with high necklines and long skirts or trousers or jeans. At least until they decided if things between them were going to work out in a romantic relationship or whether or not Bucky was gonna give him his spunk so he could have a pup. Nun Steve was here to stay.

“Hey Steve, I think we should go out tonight!”

Or not. Well, Nun Steve could be around for a few hours. Bucky wouldn’t want to go out until late anyways and if Steve was going on a date with Bucky then he needed to dress for it. People would see them together and he didn’t want to look like a bum because people would talk bad about Bucky. Not that it was a date. Or he didn’t think so anyway, but people would see them and automatically assume it was a date. Just like they always did. 

Steve may or may not preen when he sees articles detailing the relationship they think he and Bucky have. He liked that some people thought he was good enough for Bucky to date. It might be petty of him but he liked the comments where people were jealous of him. Everyone adored Bucky, had before he became a famous actor, but everyone loved him now. He had fangirls and fanboys and everyone in between. All of them lined up and wanting. Alphas, Omegas, and Betas. Bucky had shown Steve some of the messages he’d gotten on his social media before he’d taken a step back from it. Some of them had been hot. Some of them had just been weird. And a, thankfully, very few of them had been deeply disturbing. Steve's favorites had always been the ones telling Bucky how cute he and Steve looked together, though. He thought they did look cute together and maybe he was slightly delusional, but he didn’t care. He and Bucky would make a cute couple and have really cute pups so whatever. Everything was fine. Maybe.

He walked into the en suite, dumped his clothes on the counter next to his toiletries, then turned on the water in the giant claw foot tub, added some of his bubble bath, and stripped down. He hung the silk sleep shirt on the robe hook on the door and tossed his panties in the hamper. He'd have to run the washing machine after his bath. He didn't want to leave slicked up panties in the hamper with his clothes from the day before. He'd just throw them in with Bucky's clothes. God knew the Alpha hadn't done much laundry while he had been gone. He never did. Steve usually wound up washing a load or two so Bucky would have clean clothes. How were he and Bucky not mated and bonded yet, damn it? They were so freakin' domestic. Did Bucky even realize? Or was he that oblivious?

Probably he was oblivious. Which was most definitely a good thing if true, because if Bucky knew how Steve felt about him, Steve's life was over. He'd have to move away from Brooklyn, to like…Jersey or something so Bucky would never find him. Everyone knew Jersey sucked and it would be the last place Bucky would think to look for him. He'd have to create a whole new identity and be on suppressants and scent blockers so he could pass as a Beta. He'd have to stop making art and get a corporate drone job of some sort too. Change his name to something totally different. Chad or Mark or Chris or James. There were millions of Chrises and Jameses. They'd gone to school with ten Jameses. He could change his name to James Smith and go by Jim and Bucky would never ever be able to find him. There. New life planned. Just to be on the safe side.

The doorknob turned and he rushed to slide into the bath before Bucky got the door open.

“Did you hear me, sugar? About going out tonight?”

“Yeah. That’s fine, Buck. Whatever you want.”

“We don’t have to. I know we don’t usually go out as soon as I get back. We should probably stay in.”

Steve laughed. “Are you thinking with your brain or your nose?”

“What?”

“Buck, you and I both know you have an annoyingly perceptive sense of smell. Are you changing your mind because going out isn’t what we usually do or because your Alpha side is wanting to keep me away from other people?” He pointed to the hamper where his panties had been tossed and Bucky groaned and pinched his nose shut.

“Ub...we dob’t usually go out.”

Steve laughed and flicked some bubbles at him as he reached up to turn the water off. “You’re a dork. We can stay in tonight and go out tomorrow. I still haven’t given you your sketchbook.”

Bucky gave him a thumbs up with the hand not pinching his nose shut, gave him one last lingering look, then backed out of the bathroom and closed the door. Steve waited until he was relatively sure that Bucky had actually gone and then sighed with relief as he sank up to his chin in his bubble bath. He honestly hadn’t wanted to go out and since Bucky wanted them to date like normal couples, like anything about their relationship was normal, they’d probably have plenty of other opportunities for dates. For now they could just do their normal routine.

***

Steve walked into the living room dressed in his baggy clothes and his hair floofy from running the towel over it to dry it. He’d already stuck their clothes in the washing machine and sprayed scent neutralizer in every room and hallway that he’d walked with the hamper. He’d even snuck into the kitchen and sprayed it there too and wiped down the chair he’d been sitting in at breakfast. Just to be on the safe side. He didn’t want to leave evidence of his stupidity around for Bucky to smell.

He grabbed his cup of coffee and made new then walked into the living room where Bucky was sat on the couch holding the bag he’d carried the wine and his art supplies in. Bucky hadn’t opened it from what he could tell. If Bucky had opened it then he would probably be surrounded by candy wrappers. Steve had ordered him a few candy bars from different countries, mostly chocolate, and had them boxed up in a side pocket on his bag as an extra surprise. Just in case he had to bribe Bucky about the pup thing. Maybe trying to bribe his best friend slash unrequited love of his life with chocolates hadn’t been the best idea, but he’d spent the entire time Bucky had been gone filming trying to figure out ways to ask and honestly? Bribing Bucky with chocolate had been the least stupid out of all of them.

“Go ahead and open it,” Steve murmured as he sat down next to Bucky and snuggled close. Bucky always held him as he looked through his sketchbook and made up silly stories about each of the sketches. Steve had told him he needed to try his hand at writing a book or a screenplay, but Bucky said he loved acting so much he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Steve kind of just thought that Bucky was a little bit afraid of writing something longer than the small stories he told. Not that he’d ever tell the Alpha that. Bucky would write a hundred thousand word long romance novel just to spite him. It would be like the bodice ripper ones his Ma had read. Then Steve would have to do the artwork and he’d make himself the swooning Omega and Bucky the strapping Alpha in a kilt with a sword in one hand and his long hair blowing in the wind, a look of fierce determination in his eyes as he held Steve up with one hand on the small of his back to keep him from collapsing due to an acute case of the vapors because maybe Bucky’s shirt would be undone and his muscles would be bulging and gleaming and right there close enough for Steve to touch with more intent than just snuggles. Steve would have one hand resting on a perfect pectoral, mouth only inches away from Bucky’s nipple, hard and waiting to be bitten. Steve would have on a chemise and a long skirt and nothing underneath, slick running down his thigh and Bucky’s hand would be  _ right _ there. He’d only have to slide it down a few inches and get his fingers where Steve wanted them. And oh my God why couldn’t he have thought of that while he was in the bath and could actually do something about it? He whimpered, tried not to squirm, and hid his flushed face behind his coffee cup as he took a drink.

“Tell me a story, Buck.”

Bucky pulled the sketchbook out of Steve's bag, took his coffee mug from him and set it on the table, then leaned into the corner of the couch and pulled Steve with him. Steve wound up laid across Bucky, a mockery of his daydream, and pouted. Why couldn't Bucky love him as much as he loved Bucky? Shit wasn't fair. He was used to it by now, but it still wasn't fair.

Bucky opened the sketchbook, half propped up on Steve and flicked to the first page. In it, Steve was sitting in front of his easel, angry for lack of inspiration, with a glare aimed toward the canvas.

“You’re fucking adorable when you’re mad, Steve. What were you mad for this time? Hmm?” Bucky reached up and petted his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Let’s see. You were trying to paint, but couldn’t figure out what you wanted to paint. So you got pissy, wound up splattering it with a gazillion different colors, and came up with something amazing by accident. Again.”

“Maybe.”

Bucky giggled, a sound Steve adored, then turned the page to the next sketch. This one Steve had drawn in the park near his apartment. It was a one-eyed Yorkie named Blackbeard and his owner. Steve had petted the dog, allergies be damned, and talked with its owner for a bit, asked to sketch Blackbeard. Steve had drawn him as a pirate with a peg front leg, an eye patch, and a tricorn hat. He’d even drawn a black flag with a Jolly Roger on it flying behind him. He’d gotten Blackbeard’s owners name and sent them a copy in messages on facebook. They had it as their profile picture.

"Oh my God, that's the cutest fucking dog I've ever seen!"

"His name's Blackbeard."

“That’s amazing.” Bucky hummed for a moment and Steve smiled when Bucky started telling him about Blackbeard’s history. How he became a pirate and why. The more he combed his fingers through Steve’s hair the sleepier he got and Steve fell asleep to the story of Blackbeard the Yorkie and his swashbuckling adventures.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @LilyInTheSnow


End file.
